The Sims 3 really missed a trick. Sure, people are a little more lifelike, but only when they’re doing normal things, with normal people controlling them. Trouble is, I’m not normal.

Tell me, why don’t my Sims act like they should when I wall them up, or take the damn ladder out of the swimming pool (can you still do this? I haven’t actually tested it). Why is it that when I’ve taken away the walls and replaced them with plaster, they don’t start pounding on where the door used to be? Why, eight hours in, are they not clutching their knees and rocking? And why isn’t there a Lord of the Flies moment when they’re trapped with another incomprehensible and infuriating Sim?

Get to work, Maxis.